Polish's English

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed to a lawyer's office and tells the lawyer to prepare a divorce.

Lawyer: Have you any grounds for divorce?

Polish man: Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

Lawyer: No. I mean, what is the foundation of this case?

Polish man.: It is made of concrete.

Lawyer: I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?

Polish man: Garage? No, we have carport, and not need one.

Lawyer: I mean, what are your relations like?

Polish man: All my relations still in Poland.

Lawyer: Is there any infidelity in your marriage?

Polish man: We have hi-fidelity and good DVD player.

Lawyer: Does your wife beat you up?

Polish man: No, I always up before her.

Lawyer: Is your wife a nagger?

Polish man: No, she white.

Lawyer: Why do you want this divorce?

Polish man: She going to kill me!

Lawyer: What makes you think that?

Polish man: I got proof.

Lawyer: What kind of proof?

Polish man: She going to poison me. She buys a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it says: “Polish Remover”.